Dear Desperate Person Seeking A Job,
Thank you for coming in and selling yourself and showing us what an amazing employee you would be…We are sorry we’ve taken so long to get back to you and that you’ve been desperately jumping at every email you receive.
Unfortunately, we won’t be taking your application to the next round.
You’re wonderful. But someone else was better. Sorry, not sorry, we crushed your hopes and dreams.
Kind regards,
Employee Who Doesn’t Want You As Much As You Wanted Them.
If only rejection letters were this honest, huh.
I’ve had my fair share of these the last few months (and even more silence, ‘cause the three hours I spent writing a cover letter isn’t even worth a rejection letter…) and I’ll be honest, it sucks. When friends tell me they didn’t get the job I hit them with a supportive, and truthful, you’re amazing text (cause they are!) But the truth is, those don’t really help. You still feel like crap because rejection, whether from a job, a crush or a pet, hurts like hell (especially the last one, but let’s get back to the job stuff).
All the hope you had when you checked your emails day after day has faded because you’ve been told, no. Thoughts of ‘I’m not good enough’ start to creep in. It’s easy to just wallow, feel all sorts of rubbish and decide to demolish a whole tub of ice cream to help you feel better. But the fact of the matter is, you’re not in the situation to just give up and go lay on a tropical beach (If you are, congrats). You need to keep the hustle alive and get a job! But when you’re starting to feel like crap after not getting anywhere, how can you keep going? Well, take this advice, from someone who knows all too well.
1. Ask Why?
So you were rejected. You’ve licked your wounds, aka called your mum to sob or told yourself ten reasons why you didn’t actually want the job anyway. Now, it’s time to ask why? In a professional way, of course, this isn’t your crush and you can’t go all ‘I would have been the best thing to ever happen to you, buddy’ on them (even though you would have been). Instead, start by thanking them for the opportunity and follow with something like…
“I’d love some feedback about my interview skills and overall qualifications when you get the time. I am always looking for ways I can improve and I would value some of your feedback as my job search continues.”
Don’t say ‘if possible’, cause that gives them an out. And let’s be honest, it’s a 50/50 chance that they will respond anyway! But there’s no harm in asking, in fact, it could help you land another job.
Do ask, even if you feel uncomfortable. And if the rejection was over the phone and you didn’t think to ask then and there, email them. It could be something so simple that you can work on.
2. Just Keep Swimming*
I get it, you’re probably feeling pretty down in the dumps right about now. Hope is gone and it’s easy to feel a little down about yourself. In fact, I give you permission to wallow in self-pity for 2 minutes. Go on…
Now, get your shit together, put your big girl panties on and listen up – you are good enough (I know, I said I wasn’t going to go down this route but I can’t help myself…) you would have been an asset to their team and … yikes, here goes, you didn’t get it cause someone else was … better! And by better I mean better suited for the job! Not better than you. So wallow, have a cry, make a cup of tea and treat your bruised ego to some chocolate. Then keep going. Continue applying, use the rejection as fuel and become a job applying machine!
*Ten points if you read that as Dory!
3. Ask Yourself, Was I Right?
If you keep getting rejection letters (or silence) for the same sort of roles it might be worth doing a little self-evaluation. Do you actually have the necessary qualifications? Are you the best fit? I’m not saying only apply for jobs you are 110% qualified for, cause I’ve read the research that says men apply for jobs when they only meet 4/6 requirements and women only apply when they meet 6/6, which is rubbish! Back yourself, girlfriend. But what I am saying is be realistic. Maybe you need to re-evaluate the jobs you’re applying for and the skills you have.
4. Take a Break
Sometimes all you really need is to step away from the situation – figuratively and literally. Put the laptop down, go for walk or binge-watch Netflix. Anything but job hunting for 24-hours. You aren’t going to miss out on anything in the day you aren’t scrawling Linkedin or the other 50 job sites you’ve got up. Stepping away can give you a chance to breathe, to re-assess what you want and give you the chance to give yourself a pep talk!
5. Stop Feeling Ashamed
Look, you aren’t that special, everyone goes through this at some point in their life and chances are someone else that you know is going through exactly the same thing or has done so recently. No one is going to judge you or think of you as a failure because you aren’t getting the jobs you have been going for (yet!). They are more likely to admire your tenacity than they are to belittle your efforts and think of you as a mess.
