‘Tis the season to nestle in bed, fairy lights glistening and a mulled wine warming your soul and your fingers (at least, it is in the Northern Hemisphere). Of course, no night is complete without a Christmas movie, or two. But where to start? Which festive flick will tickle your fancy and fill you with warm festive cheer? Don’t fear, dear, we have done the hard yards so you can sit back, relax and embrace the Christmas joy. Here, we present a list of the good, the bad, and the so-good-it’s-bad of Christmas flicks.
Love Actually
Arguably one of the best Christmas classics, this flick is a must-see, and if you haven’t seen it then stop what you’re doing, call in sick and get ready to watch one of the most heartwarming flicks to come out of Britain. And remember, love really is all around.
Emma: Let’s start with the best of the best – the pièce de résistance of festive flicks. What’s not to love about this movie, other than Alan Rickman breaking the heart of Emma Thompson, of course (no complaints of spoilers, if you haven’t seen this film you should leave.) Top 3 moments: Hugh Grant’s dancing scene, any scene where Sam and Daniel are together and the incredible version of All I want for Christmas (how we all think we sound when we sing, but in reality, a child is far better than any of us). P.S if you want your mind blown, read this fun wee bit about Daniel and the real love of his life – which makes the whole Alan and Emma scene a little easier to swallow.
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Almaz: Without a doubt, the best Christmas movie of all time. I can’t not give it 5 glasses of mulled wine. If Hugh Grant himself weren’t enough to make it an amazing movie for a start (yes, I love Hugh), the simple, sweet and reassuring message that love really is all around just makes me want to cry sweet, Christmas-scented tears. Simply put, it’s a classic and enough to keep you warm on these chilly December nights.
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
The Holiday
This is one of the great romance films of our time. Okay, that’s quite dramatic … but it’s true. There are few movies that have come out recently that have mastered the art of making us believe two people can fall in love in such a short time (I believe these characters fell in love in roughly 9 days, from around the 22nd December, when offices tend to go on skeleton staff, to New Year’s Eve). Anyway, it’s a Christmas great.
Emma: I love it. I love Cameron singing to Mr Brightside. I love Mr Napkin Head. I love Jack Black’s face when he apologises for the ‘accidental boob graze’. I love Arthur. I love Kate standing up to Jasper – and making Jack a carb-loaded meal to get over his heartbreak. P.S The cottage in this film is fake. HEARTBREAK. I’ve been to the village this movie was filmed in AND sat in the pub where Cameron and Jude meet for drinks.
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Almaz: The second greatest Christmas movie of all time. If you are single, this movie will do nothing for your self-esteem, but it’s a great watch none-the-less. Also, can we please talk about Jude Law for a tiny sec. How glorious that this movie allows us to imagine a world where Jude law is not actually a total scum-bag, but a loving, kind and absolutely perfect gem of a man who simply lives his life in quiet hope that one day he will be able to find happiness once again. Oh, the magic of Hollywood. 5 glassed of mulled wine from me, obvs.
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Elf
Buddy isn’t really an elf, but he grows up thinking he is. One day, he realises he isn’t like the other elves (I mean, he’s 3 times their size, dunno how it took so long…) So he goes to NY to find his dad, where he walks in on a woman in the shower, eats copious amounts of sugar and … well can’t ruin it for the Grinches who haven’t seen it (ALMAZ!) There are a lot of flaws, but it’s for kids, so let’s let them go and enjoy a little festive cheer (by singing loud for all to hear).
Emma: If I had to pick a Christmas mood, it would be Buddy the Elf – “First we’ll make snow angels for 2 hours, and then we’ll go ice-skating, and then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse cookie dough as fast as we can, and then to finish we’ll snuggle.” Sure, Will Ferrel kinda grinds my gears, but I can get past that for this Christmas creation that gets me in the spirit – and Zooey Deschanel’s angelic voice well and truly makes up for it, anyway.
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷🍷
Almaz: I have to admit I’ve never actually seen this movie. Emma is literally the most Christmas obsessed person I know, so of course, she has a well-formed opinion based on actual facts. However, I have Googled some still images from the film (extensive research, as per) and I can’t shake the feeling that seeing a grown man wearing an elf costume for 2 hours on end is kind of terrifying. I’ll stick with Love Actually.
Rating: 🍷
Home Alone
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.
Emma: Look, I know I’ve called many films a classic but this really is a classic. It’s gotta be watched every year – just don’t google Mccauley Caulkin, let’s all just think he stayed a sweet (albeit a little mischievous) like Kevin…
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷🍷
Almaz: I know we are all a bit sick of the word banger, but seriously, Home Alone is a BANGER. I cherish this film because it is a rare depiction of the time before Mccauley Caulkin got creepy. 4 glasses of mulled wine from me.
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷🍷
The Grinch
A children’s film that is fun for the whole family, with plenty of adult-friendly jokes … hello putting your keys in the bowl.
Emma: I watched this with my flatmates recently after one of them admitted they had never seen it, I know, I need to surround myself with better movies taste and respect for Christmas (Almaz included). Anyway, I sang like Cindy Lou Who and realised how relatable the Grinch’s general behaviour is now that I’m older – I mean, ‘Am I eating just because I’m bored?’ Also, there’s plenty of rhyming and terrible puns, which is my life (and my job).
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Almaz: There is something very unsettling about the noses of every single character in this film, however, we all know Dr. Seuss came up with some very strange material, so I am willing to overlook that for the sake of Christmas. This is my pick for proper Christmas eve viewing (along with The Nightmare Before Christmas, which for some reason Emma left off the list of Christmas films for me to rant about – shame on you Emma, I’ve found a way to mention it none-the-less).
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷🍷
Miracle on 34th Street
Is Santa really real? Well this old guy thinks he’s Santa and he needs a little help not only convincing others, but getting out of trouble. It’s a magical masterpiece, in other words. And you never know, maybe he is Santa?
Emma: Okay, I’m going to start by saying Almaz and I are on a break until she watches this. I mean, it’s a classic. It’s got everything – magic, romance, SANTA! It’s a true classic and one of the Christmas movies that reminds you what the season is all about – loved ones and believing anything can happen. Do yourself a favour, sit down and watch it.
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷🍷
Almaz: Emma will shoot me for admitting this, but this is another classic I have actually never seen. I am giving it 4 glasses of mulled wine however as I feel guilty that I have never seen this Christmas masterpiece.
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷🍷
A Christmas Prince
Prince meets an ordinary woman (a journalist undercover as a tutor) and … look I’m not ruining it when I say sparks fly. It’s…not good, but it’s ideal for the morning after your Christmas party or after a long day when you need something completely mindless.
Emma: You know those ‘so-bad-it’s-good’ flicks, well this is one of those. It attempts to be romantic (glossing over that whole lying to get the scoop…) it’s cheesier than a four cheese pizza and the actress is a Kiwi gal, so there’s that! It’s a good movie to watch with your gal pals on a Friday night with a couple of mulled wines and a Christmas platter. The more wines the better, I’m sure…
🍷🍷🍷
Almaz: Oh God, it’s so bad. Make it stop, please. Netflix, please spend money licensing actual Christmas movies and stop trying to make your own.
Rating: 🍷🍷
The Princess Switch
Another Netflix original, with less Zac Efron and more Parent Trap vibes – it is called The Princess Switch, after all.
Emma: I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy this…I mean, it’s V Hudgens, breaking free…I’ll admit I did watch this with a (rather large) glass of rosé and a load of bread and cheese on a Friday night – in other words, the best way to watch a movie that’s cheesier than the Brie I ate. But you once it finishes, you feel all warm and fuzzy, and that’s what a Christmas movie is about, right? P.S have listened to Bring the Snow by Sam Palladio (the prince) 3 times since I finished the movie 10 minutes ago … no shame.
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷🍷 (I’d give it 3 1/2 if I could, but no one likes half a glass of mulled wine…)
Almaz: Marginally better than the above, but this one also falls into the category of terrible Netflix Originals. It’s the kind of movie I would watch while eating an entire pizza and drinking an entire bottle of wine. If you are looking for a Christmas movie that is actually good, jog on mate. If you are looking for mindless entertainment with Christmas flavour, V Hudgens is your girl.
Rating: 🍷🍷🍷
